Procrastitron

Procrastitron is an Autobot… we think? She’s never bothered to paint her allegiance logo.  But she hangs out with the Autobots. Probably because, you know, the Decepticons would kick her out for not doing stuff.

Procrastitron is not badly-drawn! Procrastitron is thematic in her simplicity.  By the way, those colored lights on her chest are a mindless matching game, and Procrastitron has five light blue squares in a row and could collect points, but she’s putting it off for later.

Procrastitron is useless in battle.  No one knows why Procrastitron even shows up, but maybe it’s boring back at the Autobot base. Still, I’m sure they don’t mind that she uses most outdoor battles as an excuse to organize her photos. She’ll help out as soon as she’s done, guys! This is important! Oh, look! This is that time Bumblebee trashed a Chevy dealership in a fit of rage because Michael Bay doesn’t respect the power of German engineering! Camaro my BUTT.

Procrastitron would totally screw around with Soundwave’s mix tapes when she should be doing something else. Like, you know, battle. Since Soundwave is the coolest of the Decepticons, they’d only ever meet in battle. Or, you know, at the club Soundwave DJ’s at when not helping Megatron take over the world – which is Thursdays and alternate Fridays.  But mostly, yeah, battle.

Procrastitron’s the only Autobot who knows Laserbeak is 100% disco.  Maybe Soundwave lets her get away with it because none of his fellow Decepticons show any appreciation for the artistry he puts in to each track selection.  All of Soundwaves tapes start out strong, take it back just a notch, then build it up a notch, then have a thematic break. Soundwave is a DJ god. I digress.

No one knows what Procrastitron transforms into. Procrastitron has never transformed, that anyone is aware of.  Since transformation requires scanning an object to transform into, it’s possible Procrastitron couldn’t pick one.  Or she’s putting it off until she finds the perfect thing.  It is entirely possible she’s not a transformer at all, but a fan creation inserted into their universe for meta-reasons.

But I like to think that she turns into Writer’s Block.

Oh look at that! She did it! I haven’t written all day. You are underrated, Procrastitron! Now I’m off to play some game where you have to line up like objects to make them disappear. Excelsior!

My twitter friend, @premeesaurus, who is delightful and awesome, described her Transformer name as “Procrastitron” which now, in the TRUE SPIRIT OF PROCRASTINATION, I present in various bad drawings. (Thank you for the blog post idea Premee you didn’t even know you were giving it to me!)

 

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