Life is Graded on Participation

As mentioned before, I was a medieval reenactment fighter (SCA).  I was super bad at it, too. How bad? In ten years of fighting, the farthest I ever made it in a double elimination tournament was three rounds.  For comparison,  an eggplant with a sword taped to it will automatically last two rounds in a double-elim. […]

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I was a teenage monster

In sixth grade, we were given the assignment to draw a self-portrait and then write six words that described ourselves. It was a lesson on adjectives. I picked “Obnoxious”, “Fat”, “Loquacious”, “Stupid”, “Grotesque”, and “lazy.” I was bitterly proud of my vocabulary.  (“Loquacious” was my attempt to be nice to myself but I knew it […]

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Princessing

We were at Aunt Grace’s farm and her sons were playing battle in the snow.  I wanted to play, too. They said I could be the princess they fought over. There was an igloo that would be my ‘tower’ and we set icicles in the doorway for bars.  One of the boys was my ‘guard’. […]

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Crap

When I was sixteen, I attended my first writing workshop, bringing with me my first attempt at a short story.  It was a first draft, all rough, no editing, no outline beforehand. It was everything you would expect from a sixteen-year-old’s first short story. In a word, it was crap. I can say that, honestly, […]

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Stunted Stories

So, why did I whine about my low self-esteem on a writing blog? Because of this: Low self-esteem destroys stories. Say you have an idea – a brilliant, simple idea. (It could also be a piece of crap, but for this exercise it is brilliant and simple.) I’m going to write a story about how […]

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Pumpkin Spice Stereotypes

So, a couple of times I’ve heard jokes about pumpkin spice being for white women. Like… it’s our drug. Our sweet, sweet drug. Now, a sample set of ME concurs*. I will run into traffic for pumpkin spice baked goods.  Thing of it is, I have friends who don’t like pumpkin spice, and friends who do. […]

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Autumn Cycling

My commute to work looks roughly like this: This is how I dress to bike in on these cold autumn mornings: And this is how I dress to bike home: Bulky sweats don’t fit in my backpack with my laptop and lunch container.  The result is the most bundled-up office chair  you ever saw. A […]

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