Hustle is killing us, and in more than the “no energy to party” way.
It’s not just corporations who are seeking constant, unsustainable growth. It’s embedded in our culture. From a very early age, people are teaching their kids to hustle, worrying about them not “reaching their potential.” Potential to do what? Bet you it isn’t “be happy.”
Why are you struggling to get into the right elementary school so you can go to the right high school so you can go to the right college so you can be buried in the right cemetery? It’s not to be happier. No, it’s to earn capital. It’s always “earn capital.”
“Why do we have to achieve?” my sister asked recently. “Why can’t we just… be?”
It hit me hard. I remember as a child being absolutely terrified of ending up unimportant. Particularly, I was looking out the car window as we passed a suburban development, rows of identical bungallows, and I thought, “Oh god, don’t let me end up like THEM.”
Homeowners? Living the literal American dream?
Something in our culture demands not sustainable life, but excellence. Little kids are supposed to dream of being president some day, or a celebrity… even though the odds of those careers are vanishingly small. “Aim for a star and you might hit the moon,” or something like that? But somewhere along the way, we have forgotten to be happy with the moon.
In my 20s, I was forced to give up my big dreams in the face of day-to-day making rent, and it was good for me. I switched my focus to finding sustainable employment that would pay for my life, and allow time for making art. “Work is how you live, art is why,” my dad would say.
But nowadays you’re constantly asked why you have an art and aren’t monetizing it. “You could sell that!” An eager airport employee told me as I waited in the TSA line, knitting. “NO, open a shop! Put it on eBay!”
And, attendant to that – if you have a hobby, you’re expected to excel at that, too. Evidence: all the times I hear a loved one lament that they’d love to shoot archery or bowl or fence… but they aren’t good at it. Even video games. “I can’t play those. I’m not good.”
There’s a natural joy in learning a skill, and of course anyone who takes up an art wants to be good at it, but does that mean there’s no value in being mediocre at something? Can’t you play just to enjoy yourself? Do you really think people are standing on the sidelines ranking all participants and saying, “Oh yeah it wasn’t any fun playing that game because someone who I could beat showed up.”
My sister was lamenting her “embarrassing” archery score, so I asked her, “How did everyone else shooting at that time do?” She didn’t know.
And you know what? They didn’t notice how she did, either, because they were all focused on being embarrassed by their own scores.
Let’s be real… we don’t go to Karaoke to hear the 2-3 really good singers who show up. We’re there for the bad but heartfelt renditions and our own moment to play.
The human drive to competitiveness is exhausting. Why do we keep struggling to throw the best party, pick the best outfit, win Open Mic Night? Why can’t we approach more things in life the way I treat my lawn: doing juuuust enough that the city doesn’t levy a fine?
Leave the leaves! We spend gasoline, energy, and noise pollution removing leaf litter, and then we have to fertilize our lawns because we removed the natural fertilizing leaves? Please. Also, weirdly enough, that layer of leaves provides habitat for wee creatures that feed other creatures. Break up the clumps with a rake if you wanna be sure to have nice grass, but otherwise, why make such a fuss? Why spend all that time and money to have only one species of grass, even, when that makes it more vulnerable, necessitating more water, more mowing… more never-recoverable resources.
Related: Don’t mow! I mean, okay, some of us have local ordinances that require we mow our plots of grass, but you can get around that by planting moss, hens and chicks, or setting up a nice stone garden. I only mow the front yard – yeah my house has a mullet: long in the back! I also wait to mow until after the spring wildflowers bloom so I can enjoy those.
What else can we be slacking more on?
Go ahead and put on that shirt you wore yesterday! If it still smells okay, it’s still okay. Save some (valuable, potable) water and (potentially poisonous) soap. While I’m on this subject, hang your towel to dry it so you can use it again! Using every towel twice is halving your wash-water. Wearing the same jeans five times is five times less wash-water! I’m doing it for the planet, man!
Just play. Mess around with your art. Doodle. Bowl like no one is keeping score.
Take a nap! Don’t watch some show that’ll remind you you don’t have all the same physical objects as richer people. Don’t surf the net and see all those ads for things you didn’t know you needed… you don’t need them.
In fact, all you really need in life are my books, which will provide you with hours of non-screen entertainment and contentment.
(Yeah, the hustle dies hard.)
