“The Trunk” is a jargon term in the writing world for, basically, stuff you have already written, waiting to find a home. It can be pejorative – the “Trunk story” sold by a big name writer which is actually quite flawed and should have been revised, the “We don’t want your trunk stories” line in a magazine’s guidelines, implying “trunk” means “old, garbage drafts from before you knew better.”
I have many drafts of stories on my computer, but I reserve the term “Trunk” for those in the folder titled “Done.” There are 13 stories in my trunk, and an additional 9 in a sub-folder titled “Hiatus” where I put things I’m not sure whether to give up completely on or revise before trying again. Some stories have been in the trunk since 2012, one just went in this week. But in this blog post, I’ll use the more common meaning of the term, the “trunk” of all rough drafts sitting on my computer.
My friend Nyla asked me, “Write a blog post on revising trunk stories. How do you turn that pile of rotting words into something better than what was first put aside?”
I think this is a question best answered by example.
At first I thought I’d go through my old journals and follow a story through its revisions to sale, but then I realized I’d already written that blog post. (More than once. Or Twice. )
So let’s go the other direction – forward rather than back. I’m opening up my “Short Stories” folder right now.
(Heavy sigh)
There are 37 files in the top level of my Short Stories folder. For sake of my sanity I won’t consider the “Writeathon” folder. (That’s another 83 files!)
Of those 37 top-level story files, only 8 are complete first drafts:
Home Safe
Earth Day
Rail Meat
The Cuckhold Project
The Flying Saucer
Touch the Darkness
Jealousy Interpreted
The Mixer
Yikes … the oldest of these (The Mixer) was last updated in 2014. The youngest (Rail Meat) was edited just last year.
Okay, I’m going to read through these dreadful first drafts and pick one I want to do more with. I can skip “Home Safe” because I read it recently wondering if I could revise it and decided there’s not much to salvage there but a few nice descriptions. In fact, I shall move it to my “Garbage” folder now. (I keep a “Garbage” folder in the Short Story folder rather than using the computer’s trash because, well, maybe someday I’ll find a diamond in that garbage?)
Earth Day – suffers from a slow beginning and a rushed ending. (What else is new?) And it feels a little too light for how dark it is. I think what I’ll do is introduce a B plot to give more time to the darkness. The current draft is only 1,800 words long so there’s plenty of room for B plot. Also the first two scenes in the current draft do much the same work. They should be more different from each other. If I choose to revise this one, I’ll put one of those scenes in Shawna’s POV, to show Brian from the outside, and make the teen angst more stifled, boiling. The point of this story was about teen rebellion on a generation ship. How do you deal with knowing your future is decided?
Rail Meat – Current draft 2,400 words. Hrm this is pretty okay. I had heard about people volunteering to be living balast for yacht races in the hopes of meeting rich people and it struck me as absolutely the peak of “the poor killing themselves for the attentions of people who take it for granted they are owed that killing.” I thought I’d make it even more dangerous with atmospheric sailboats.
I think the opening scene can get cut, and the climax is a bit rushed. Some really good lines in it, too. “He smiled like he could bite the moon and it would ask him to do it again.” I feel like it needs one more complication and a punchier ending. Okay! I’m revising this one! Plans:
- Cut the opening scene – Our Heroine, Ernestine, breaks into the hotel – and open instead with her meeting Rico at the rooftop party when she tries to steal his watch.
- Slow down / clean up the race and Rico’s decision to jump / Ernestine’s decision to jump for him
- Add a second try at impressing the heiress. Maybe actually show the after-party? Rico leaves with the rich bitch. Gotta work out the logistics of Ernestine getting there.
… okay I wrote that above list yesterday. Then as I went to bed at night I realized: Rico has to jump. Ernestine can’t jump for him. It doesn’t make sense. I think I only did that in the first draft because I was following a “Secret rule” that all dramatic action must be taken by the main character.
Pish posh.
So today I deleted the original ending two scenes and had Rico jump (though Ernestine briefly considers going after him.) I also wrote a whole new scene at the “After party” where Rico finally hooks up with the heiress and Ernestine goes home bitterly, only now instead of having to write how Ernestine survived the jump and arrived back safe, I have her not jump and be there already.
That worked much better.
And so I have sent the story to a writing workshop to read. The Cajun Sushi Hamsters, my primary workshop, already read the first first draft of this. (I just confirmed that by looking in my “Hamsternotes” folder for a file named “Rail Meat.” Yup. January, 2022.)
Disappointingly, there are no entries in my journals about the dawn of this story, other than it appearing in my “WIP” list on February 27, 2022. (It is not in the previous WIP list in September 14, 2021, so started between those dates.)
Here are my personal notes on what I wanted to change after the hamsters read my first draft (file dated January 11, 2022:
Make a note that they fall all the time without jumping. (being too slow to react can get you to drop)
Show the geography of action – how the ship reacts to their lean.
Make sure she makes the statement that stealing from the rich is a sure thing – getting on their good side never works because they will always choose to benefit themselves more. (Find a way to say this very coherently)
Possibly put in a note about going off to rob the rich.
Possibly cut the walk back?
Rich people having human serving are awesome.
Cut solar sails – decide where in the troposphere they are – clouds?
Emphasize sucker for the pretty things – move line up?
Mention that no one even gets paid for this insanity.
Hammer in the layout of the ship.
Underscore the “he saved me” feels
Cut ending line
Looks like I did in fact do those things, but I was clearly not happy with the draft after my changes and let it sit in the incomplete folder. I don’t think my statement about “Stealing is a sure thing – getting on their good side doesn’t work” landed, or I cut it. Now I want to put that back in. Okay, I will.
Sunday, February 19, my online writing workshop will critique this draft, which is now 3,700 (+1,300) words long.
Monday, February 20: Okay! The online workshop were very kind to the draft. They were mostly concerned with the progression of the heroine falling for her love interest. They felt she was being too stupid over him, even if being stupid over love was a theme. Here are my personal notes on what to do next:
- Early on, she excuses her falling for him as in her own self-interest — she’s just following to steal from the people around him.
- It’s not just how pretty he is, she loves the promise of a lover who shares her “moral flexibility”
- Have her ironically call him dumb and note that SHE is acting in pure cold calculation when the audience knows she’s not.
- Not from the critique, but emphasizing I want to add back in that line about stealing being a sure thing. It’s kind of the point of the story and I don’t know why I cut it.
Friday, February 24: I have revised! Came up with a new (I hope) killer last line while walking the dog, too. The story is now 4,000 (+300) words long and I am sending it off to its first market. Viola, junk in the trunk.
(And now you know how far out I schedule my blog posts.)
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